item missing (edited)

I ask God an angel
He ask me why
I answered Him:
"because I'm lonely"
then He gave me an angel

I became happy with my angel
we shared our laughters and tears
the angel guided me
but there is something missing

I ask God again:
"can you make my angel turn into human being?"
He ask why
I answered Him:
"because the joy seems not real"
then the angel became man

the jokes and sentiments became real
I touched the person and the person touched me back
felt a dream that is real
but there is something missing

I asked God again:
"can that person love me?"
He ask why
I answered Him:
"because I fall in love"
then He made the person love me

my smile did not fade
made our path the same
holding each others hand
but there is something missing

I ask God again:
"can that person care for me?"
God ask why
I answered:
"because I care for that person a lot"
then God made that person care for me

I shared all my torns
receiving me advices
as I pass on my troubles
but there is something missing

I realized that all I have was just like
an artificial
it doesn't came from the person's heart
but on the wishes God granted me

this time, God ask me:
"is there anything you would like to ask?"
I answered"
"nothing"
He ask why
I replied:
"because that person must grow on his own
not in the wishes I ask"
then God slowly fade away

we grew in our own way
I learned that the person is different
problems came in our way
that made us hurt each other

everything had change
the things we ought to do is gone
seemed like all God gave me was gone
which left me alone and hanging

realizing that this is real
which the person he came to be
he grew in the way he wanted
having no control on each others plan

I ask God:
"can you bring back the time when he was an angel?"
He ask why
I answered:
"because I was hurt"
then He made the person back to an angel

everything is gone
the feeling of real turned to nothing
as I watched the angel flew
I became still
looking for words to be asked

I ask the angel:
"where will you go?"
the angel answer:
"I'm just here above you"

I let my angel fly as I live on my own

#

-romel

procrastination mode

setting in the mind’s eye
of a sunny disposition
to step in expectations
of what you hunger for

have the feeling of joy
in unquestionable reality
rejoicing in outburst comfort
just can’t stop smiling

do you remember the dreams you had when your fifthteen?
what if they all starts to come true? Would you have told them to wait?

a behavior of delay
as plans are put off
week in the diary
uncertain about goals
to feel awkward with people
who come into view
with positive and confident
as you refuse the gift as early
when procrastination draw closer in you

#

-romel

i was there

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

song played…
great dance I’ve witnessed
in upbringing then
looking up to the dancer
wishing to be there

song advance…
heart start to drive faster
as stiff won’t be in motion
world seemed loose and wounded
when I failed the audition

song slows down…
dust my self off and try again
as the body won’t bring to an end
world seemed carefree and healed
when I pass the following test

song played…
having a lot of things to improve on
committed to practice and most excellent
short time tested my capability
making through the difficulties
striving more for the organization
with a fear of not meeting the expectations

song paused…
telling my self
I was alone
on top in making the decisions
organizing
smiling
standing in front
paper works at my face
deadlines that furiously chased

song played…
achieving the target
charming as champions
rejoicing the satisfaction
of the clapping and scream
from the audience

song fades…
seeing a new horizon
painstaking turns dreadful
having a disgraceful exit
without words of goodbye

song towards the back…
coping from the mistakes
learning from failures
sharing ones passion
continuing the drive

song played…

#

-romel

bringing back the friendship

tell your frustrations
to cry out loud
anger, hurt and insecurity
telling exactly what you feel

making the first shift
offender or offended
setting up peace discussion
to setback only deepens bitterness
choosing the right time and place
not when either of you is weary and hasty

understand their approach
to listen in
feeling not facts
to begin not solutions
to listen in
unload emotionally
as patience comes from wisdom

confessing your part of the clash
admitting your own mistakes
invite an intermediary to lend a hand your own actions

to attack the trouble
not the individual

working together as much as possible
lessen the price tag of pride

to identify with understanding
not with promises
‘cause understanding focuses on the relationship
and promises focuses on the trouble

#

-romel

Hurting Inside

Am I a total jerk?

Or am I just stupid?

I do not know what I am doing,

Loving a person who doesn't have the

chance to love me back.

I know I am hurting myself.

I feel broken; broken into pieces;

Can not restore it, like a puzzle with one piece lost.

I am hurting inside,
By keeping what I really feel.
I don't like to look like an idiot in front of him,
And expressing my feelings without even
expecting anything in return.

What shall I do?
Should I keep hurting myself?
Or let go?

#

-J.V. Tan
Pain and sorrow...

(story entry by J.V. Tan)

twisted hurt

soothing mind was inflamed
as the calm blood is boiling
and the pleasant skin is in fume
'cause rudeness made me mad

my anger continued to grow
by the comfort that is pain
putting a damper on my soul
to show annoyance from ones eyes

irritation drag on to furious
as beauty become ugly as sin
to invoke bad spell on
exceeding innocence to you

dilemma will be twisted
in a spot you feel distress
the heartache I was before
to agonize the revenge

punishment must inflict in return
for a horrify wrong done
as I lay open to view
on how I hurt by you

#

-romel